- great hair but not the smartest cookie - everybody loves him - got drunk once and the story keeps getting wilder - precious - bad grades but A for effort
Not-Castiel
- not sure why he’s here - v. religious - wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up - salty - just wants to go home
Bizarro Castiel
- found out about the 60s and never moved on - everyone is worried about him - cynical - thinks everyone and everything is beautiful - is probably high
Misha?
- thinks words like ”punk’d” and “rad” are “hip with the kids” - cries easily - tries too hard - wears clothes under his clothes like superman - good hair
God Complex
- “because I said so” - the upgrade nobody wanted, like iOS8 or Windows 10 - thinks he’s better than you - is probably actually better than you - thinks he’s helping but is actually making a bigger mess
GoO-sTiEL
- ripped the heads off barbie dolls as a child - fav song is the barney parody of “joy to the world” - AlwAYs tExTS liKe tHiS OR IN ALL CAPS - smiles a lot and nobody is sure why - probably killed somebody and maybe ate them too
Castiel with a side of Nuts
- bees - just wants to play party games and eat PB&J with his friends - holding it together with dental floss and scotch tape - no verbal filter whatsoever - wants world peace and for every day to be pajama day
No-Shave-November Castiel
- bad at prioritizing - loner - contemplates life a lot - low self-esteem - just wants to do The Right Thing™
Steve from Gas ‘n Sip
- butterfingers - works a minimum wage job with no benefits - gives awkward high-fives - stares at people - can pull off Good Will Chic™
Daddy Totally Castiel (definitely not Lucifer)
- is either undressing you with his eyes or plotting your murder - likes disco and tells dad jokes unironically - gets sucked into addictive smartphone games easily - c o n f i d e n t - wants a puppy
- hates being awake - good at finding weakness -> A++ mean girl - watches too many movies, gets accent of a 1940s robber baron - really wants to sleep - relatable
Kentucky-Fried Castiel
- good at guessing phone lock codes - not good at unexpected dirty talk - constantly doing laundry, - only calls when he needs something - owns 75 pairs of white sneakers, claims they are all different (too boring to gif)
- dresses only in black, dark black, faded black, and army green - takes all available psychology and anatomy classes - has a weirdly large butterfly knife collection - kinda hot but also kinda psycho - “politicians are all the same”